How to behave in a Japanese home

Slippers lined up at the entrance of a ryokan

When entering a Japanese house or a ryokan, outdoor shoes are always replaced by slippers at the doorway (genkan). Slippers are provided by the host.

When entering a room with tatami floor, slippers are removed as well. Tatami should only be stepped on with socks or in bare feet.

Finally, there are special toilet slippers for exclusive usage inside the washroom. The usual house slippers are left outside the door while using the washroom.

How to behave at shrines and temples

How to visit a temple

Behave calmly and respectfully. Show your respect by making a short prayer in front of the sacred object. Do so by throwing a coin into the offering box, followed by a short prayer.

At some temples, visitors burn incense (osenko) in large incense burners. Purchase a bundle, light them, let them burn for a few seconds and then extinguish the flame by waving your hand rather than by blowing it out. Finally, put the incense into the incense burner and fan some smoke towards yourself as the smoke is believed to have healing power. For example, fan some smoke towards your shoulder if you have an injured shoulder.

When entering temple buildings, you may be required to take off your shoes. Leave your shoes on the shelves at the entrance or take them with you in plastic bags provided at some temples. Wear nice socks.

Photography is usually permitted on the temple grounds. It is forbidden indoors at some temples. Watch for signs.

Incense burner at a temple

Purification fountain at a shrine

How to visit a shrine

Behave calmly and respectfully. Traditionally, you are not supposed to visit a shrine if you are sick, have an open wound or are mourning because these are considered causes of impurity.

At the purification fountain near the shrine's entrance, take one of the ladles provided, fill it with fresh water and rinse both hands. Then transfer some water into your cupped hand, rinse your mouth and spit the water beside the fountain. You are not supposed to transfer the water directly from the ladle into your mouth or swallow the water. You will notice that quite a few visitors skip the mouth rinsing part or the purification ritual altogether.

At the offering hall, throw a coin into the offering box, bow deeply twice, clap your hands twice, bow deeply once more and pray for a few seconds. If there is some type of gong, use it before praying in order to get the kami's attention.

Photography is usually permitted at shrines. Watch for signs.

How to take a bath in Japan

In Japan the main purpose of taking a bath, besides cleaning your body, is relaxation at the end of the day.

The typical Japanese bathroom consists of two rooms, an entrance room where you undress and which is equipped with a sink, and the actual bathroom which is equipped with a shower and a deep bath tub. The toilet is almost always located in an entirely separate room.

When bathing Japanese style, you are supposed to first rinse your body outside the bath tub with a washbowl. Afterwards, you enter the tub, which is used for soaking only. The bath water tends to be relatively hot for Western bathing standards.

After soaking, leave the tub and clean your body with soap. Make sure that no soap gets into the bathing water. Once you finished cleaning and have rinsed all the soap off your body, enter the bath tub once more for a final soaking.

After leaving the tub, the water is usually left for the next member of the house. It is to keep the bath water clean for all members of the house that washing and rinsing is done outside of the actual bathtub.

Modern bath tubs can be programmed to be automatically filled with water of a given temperature at a given time, or to heat up the water to a preferred temperature.

How to use toilets in Japan

There are two types of toilets in Japan: "Japanese style" and "Western style".

Public washrooms are often equipped with both toilet styles, although some older facilities might have only Japanese style toilets, while some newer facilities might have only Western style toilets. The toilets in most public homes and hotels are Western style.

Western style toilets in Japan often feature options such as a heated ring, a built-in shower and dryer for your behind and an automatic lid opener. Both Western and Japanese style toilets usually have two flush modes: "small" (小) and "large" (大), differing in the amount of water used.

Although the situation has improved considerably in recent decades, toilet paper is not always provided in public washrooms. Therefore, it is recommended to carry a small package of tissues. Similarly, because paper towels or dryers are not always provided, it is recommended to carry a handkerchief.

When using the washroom in a private home, minshuku or ryokan, you will often find toilet slippers for exclusive use inside the washroom. Leave your usual slippers outside the washroom, and do not forget to change back into them, afterwards, to avoid an often committed cultural faux pas.

How to use Japanese style toilets

1)	Face the front of the toilet (see picture below).
2)	Pull down your trousers/skirt completely below your knees.
3)	Squat down close to the front of the toilet. In case of elevated toilets (see picture below), you need to stand on the raised platform while squatting.

Regular Japanese style

Elevated Japanese style

Basic rules of Japanese table manners

Tables and sitting

In Japan, some restaurants and private homes have low tables and cushions on the floor, rather than Western style chairs and tables. These are usually found on tatami floors. Please visit our information page about sitting techniques and rules for more information.

A restaurant with traditional low tables

Itadakimasu and Gochisosama

In Japan, you say "itadakimasu" ("I gratefully receive") before eating, and "gochisosama (deshita)" ("Thank you for the meal") after finishing the meal.

Individual versus shared dishes

It is not uncommon in private households and in certain restaurants (e.g. izakaya) to share several dishes of food at the table rather than serving each person an individual dish. When eating from shared dishes, move some food from the shared plates onto your own with the opposite end of your chopsticks or with serving chopsticks that may be provided for that purpose.

Chopsticks

The proper usage of chopsticks is the most fundamental element of Japanese table manners, and therefore, we have assigned them a separate information page.

Some Table Rules

• Blowing your nose in public, and especially at the table, is considered bad manners.
• It is considered good manners to empty your dishes to the last grain of rice.
• Talking about toilet related and similarly unappetizing topics during or before a meal is not appreciated by most people.
• Unlike in some other parts of East Asia, it is considered bad manner to burp.
• After eating, try to move all your dishes back to the same position they were at the start of the meal. This includes replacing the lids on dishes and putting your chopsticks on the chopstick holder or back into their paper slip.

Drinking rules

When drinking alcoholic beverages, it is customary to serve each other, rather than pouring your own beverage. Periodically check your friends' cups and refill their drinks if their cups are getting empty. Likewise, if someone wants to serve you more alcohol, you should quickly empty your glass and hold it towards that person.

While it is considered bad manners to become obviously drunk in some formal restaurants, for example in restaurants that serve kaiseki ryori (Japanese haute cuisine), the same is not true for other types of restaurants such as izakaya, as long as you do not bother other guests.

Do not start drinking until everybody at the table is served and the glasses are raised for a drinking salute, which usually is "kampai". Avoid using "chin chin" when drinking a toast, since in Japanese this expression refers to the male genitals.

How to eat...

	... Rice:Hold the rice bowl in one hand and the chopsticks in the other. Lift the bowl towards your mouth while eating. Do not pour soya sauce over white, cooked rice.
	... Sushi:Pour some soya sauce into the small dish provided. It is considered bad manners to waste soya sauce, so try not to pour more sauce than you will use. You do not need to add wasabi into the soya sauce, because the sushi pieces may already contain it, or may be eaten plain. However, if you choose to add wasabi, use only a small amount so as not to offend the sushi chef. If you do not like wasabi, you can request that none is added into your sushi. In general, you are supposed to eat a sushi piece in one bite. Attempts to separate a piece into two generally end in the destruction of the beautifully prepared sushi. Hands or chopsticks can be used to eat sushi. In case of nigiri-zushi, dip the piece into the soya sauce upside-down so that the fish enters the sauce. A few kinds of nigiri-zushi, for example, marinated pieces, should not be dipped into soya sauce.In case of gunkan-zushi, pour a small amount of soya sauce over the sushi piece rather than dipping it into the sauce.
	... Sashimi:Pour some soya sauce into the small dish provided. Put some wasabi on the sashimi piece, but be careful not to use too much as this will overpower the taste of the fish. Dip the sashimi pieces into the soya sauce. Some types of sashimi are enjoyed with ground ginger rather than wasabi.
	... Miso Soup:Drink the soup out of the bowl as if it were a cup, and fish out the solid food pieces with your chopsticks.
	... Noodles:Using your chopsticks lead the noodles into your mouth. You may want to try to copy the slurping sound of people around you if you are dining in a noodle shop. Rather than being bad manners as Westerners are often taught, slurping noodles is considered evidence of enjoying the meal.In case of noodle soups, be careful of splashing the noodles back into the liquid. If a ceramic spoon is provided, use it to drink the soup, otherwise, lift the bowl to your mouth as if it were a cup.
	... Kare Raisu: (and other dishes in which the rice is mixed with a sauce)Kare Raisu (Japanese style curry rice) and other rice dishes, in which the rice is mixed with a sauce (for example, some domburi dishes) may become difficult to eat with chopsticks. Large spoons are often provided for these dishes.
	... Big pieces of food: (e.g. prawn tempura, tofu)Separate into bite sized pieces with your chopsticks (this takes some exercise), or just bite off a piece and put the rest back onto your plate.

How to use Japanese chopsticks

Chopsticks are used to eat most kinds of Japanese foods, with some exceptions. Some of the most important rules to remember when dining with chopsticks are as follows:

• Hold your chopsticks towards their end, not in the middle or the front third.
• When you are not using your chopsticks, or have finished eating, lay them down in front of you with the tips to left.
• Do not stick chopsticks into your food, especially not into rice. This is only done at funerals with rice that is put onto the altar.
• Do not pass food directly from your set of chopsticks to another's. Again, this is a funeral tradition that involves the bones of a cremated body.
• Do not spear food with your chopsticks.
• Do not point with your chopsticks.
• Do not wave your chopsticks around in the air or play with them.
• Do not move plates or bowls around with your chopsticks.
• To separate a piece of food in two, exert controlled pressure on the chopsticks while moving them apart from each other in order to tear the food. This takes some practice. With larger pieces of food such as tempura, it is also acceptable to pick up the entire piece with your chopsticks, and take a bite.
• If you have already eaten with your chopsticks, use the opposite end to take food from a shared plate.

Knives and forks are used for Western food only. Spoons however, may be used with certain Japanese dishessuch as donburi or Japanese style curry rice. A Chinese style ceramic spoon is sometimes used to eat soups.

How to dine at a restaurant in Japan

Show window displaying food replicas

Japan has a large selection of restaurants of an almost endless variety. While every place is different, the following points will help make dining out in Japan a smooth and enjoyable experience.

Entering the Restaurant

Many restaurants in Japan display plastic or wax replicas of their dishes in a window near their entrance. These replicas serve both to entice and inform patrons of the restaurant's menu and tend to offer an accurate, visual description of the style and price of meals found inside. The displays are especially helpful for foreign tourists who do not read and speak Japanese. For if all other forms of communication fail, you can go outside and point to what you want to order.

Upon entering a restaurant, customers are greeted with the expression "irasshaimase" meaning "welcome, please come in". The waiter or waitress will ask you how many people are in your party and then lead you to your table. Only in rare cases, are customers expected to seat themselves.

While a majority of restaurants in Japan provide Western style tables and chairs, low traditional tables where you sit on pillows on the floor are also common and referred to as zashiki. Many restaurants feature both, and you may be asked which you prefer. In case of zashiki style seating, you should remove your shoes at the entrance to the restaurant or before stepping onto the seating area.

Smoking is permitted in many restaurants in Japan. Some restaurants provide both smoking (kitsuen) and non-smoking (kinen) sections, while others are fully smoking or non-smoking. If there is a choice, the waitress will ask you about your preference before seating you.

Traditional style zashiki seating on the floor

Low table with a sunken floor for your legs

Modern style restaurant with Western style tables and chairs

Ordering and Eating

After you are seated, each diner is usually served with a free glass of water or tea. If it is not served, free water or tea is usually available for self service somewhere in the restaurant. Everyone will also receive a wet towel (oshibori) which is used to clean your hands before eating. If chopsticks are not already set, you can usually find some in a box on the table. Most often, they are disposable wooden chopsticks that need to be separated into two before usage.

While many restaurants provide illustrated menus, other restaurants may only have Japanese text based menus, or the restaurant's offerings may instead be posted on the walls. If you are ever in doubt on what to order or find that you cannot read the menu, try asking for the recommendations (osusume) or the chef's choice (omakase). The latter will often get you some surprisingly good, prix fix style meals, but be prepared to be adventurous and do not expect it to be cheap.

Once you are ready to order, you can signal the restaurant staff by saying "sumimasen" (excuse me), or if available, press the call button at the table. Once you have finished ordering, the waitress will often repeat your order back to you for confirmation.

At some restaurants, such as izakaya, it is common for everyone in the party to order dishes together and share them. At other establishments, however, each diner is expected to order individually.

Illustrated menu at a typical family restaurant

Menu displayed on the wall

Chopsticks box

Paying

The bill will be presented upside down, either as you receive the meal or after you have finished eating. In most restaurants, you are supposed to bring your bill to the cashier near the exit when leaving, as it is not common to pay at the table. Paying in cash is most common, although more and more restaurants also accept credit cards or IC cards such as Suica.

Some restaurants, especially cheaper ones, have slightly different systems for ordering and paying. For example, in many ramen and gyudon restaurants, "meal tickets" are bought at a vending machine near the store's entrance and handed over to the staff who then prepare and serve the meal.

It is not customary to tip in Japan, and if you do, you will probably find the restaurant staff chasing you down in order to give back any money left behind. Instead, it is polite to say "gochisosama deshita" ("thank you for the meal") when leaving.

How to sit properly in Japan

Sitting techniques

Most Westerners are not used to sitting on the floor, however, in Japan sitting upright on the floor is common in many situations. For example, meals are traditionally held on a tatami floor around a low table. Sitting on the floor is also customary during the tea ceremony and other traditional events.

The formal way of sitting for both genders is kneeling (seiza) as shown on the picture below. People who are not used to sit in seiza style may become uncomfortable after a few minutes. Foreigners are not usually expected to be able to sit in seiza style for a long time, and an increasing number of Japanese people themselves are not able to do so either.

In casual situations, men usually sit cross-legged, while women with both legs to one side. The former sitting style is considered exclusively male, while the latter is considered exclusively female.

women only

seiza

men only

Seating order

The most important guest sits on the honored seat (kamiza) which is located farthest from the entrance. If there is a tokonoma in the room, the guest should be seated in front of it. The host or least important person is supposed to sit next to the entrance (shimoza).

About the Japanese way of greeting

In Japan, people greet each other by bowing. A bow ranges from a small nod of the head to a long, 90 degree bend at the waist. If the greeting takes place on tatami floor, people get on their knees in order to bow.When bowing to someone of higher social status, a deeper, longer bow indicates respect. Conversely, a small head nod is casual and informal. However, most Japanese do not expect foreigners to know proper bowing rules and so a nod of the head is usually sufficient. It is also common to bow to express thanks, to apologize, to make a request or to ask someone a favor.Shaking hands is uncommon among the Japanese, but again, exceptions are made for foreigners.

About the exchange of gifts and souvenirs

In Japan, gifts are given on many occasions:

Oseibo and Ochugen
Twice a year, in December and in June, it is common for co-workers, friends and relatives to exchange gifts. The gifts are called Oseibo and Ochugen respectively. On average, they are worth about 5000 yen and may be food, alcohol, household items or something similar. The gift giving seasons coincide with company employees receiving a special bonus in addition to their monthly salaries.

Temiyage and Omiyage
In order to thank somebody, one often presents a gift (temiyage), such as Japanese sweets or sake. Similarly, when a Japanese person returns from a trip, he or she bring home souvenirs (omiyage) to friends, co-workers and relatives. In Japan, tourist sites are generally surrounded by many omiyage shops specializing in souvenir gifts, often in the form of beautifully wrapped and packaged foods.

Birthday and Christmas
Gift giving on birthdays and Christmas is not originally a Japanese tradition. Due to the strong influence from the West, however, some families and friends exchange gifts also on these occasions.

Gifts are given and received with both hands. There are a few rules about what not to give, since certain gifts in certain circumstances or a certain number of gifts are believed to cause bad luck.

About doing business in Japan

Business Meeting Etiquette

1. Casual American-style attire is still uncommon in the Japanese business place. You should dress appropriately for the occasion when meeting your counterparts on business.
2. When sitting down to a business meeting with your Asian counterparts, the seating arrangement will be determined by the status of the participants. Do not just sit anywhere; as the guest, you will be directed to the appropriate seat.
3. As a general rule, the highest ranking person from the host side will sit at the head of the table. Then, other people will take their seats starting from the seats closest to him and working to the other end of the table. Those of higher status sit closest to the "head honcho".
4. You should stand at your seat and wait for the top guy to tell you to be seated. Then, when the meeting is finished, wait until he has stood up before standing up yourself.
5. Non-alcoholic drinks will probably be served at the beginning of the meeting and they will be distributed in the order of descending importance of recipients. You may want to wait for the top guy to drink from his glass before starting on yours.
6. Gifts are always appreciated. Consider bringing a small souvenir that represents well your hometown to give to your host. Don't be surprised if your hosts give you something from their country too. If the gift is wrapped, don't open it until you leave. If the gift is not wrapped, make sure to express copious appreciation (whether you like it or not). Ask some questions about the gift to show interest.
7. You may want to take notes during the meeting. This will show that you are interested and will be appreciated by your hosts. However, you should make certain never to write anyone's name in red ink (even your own) and so carry a black or blue pen.
8. Click here for information about Japanese business cards.

 

Social Interaction

1. Your hosts may bring up the idea of getting together socially later. This may be a sincere invitation to dinner; it may just be polite banter. Do not be offended if an invitation turns out to have been just talk and don't aggressively bug your counterpart about when you can get together. He may not say "no" directly so you might need to read from his body language what he really wants.
2. If you do go out for dinner, keep in mind that "going Dutch" is not normal in Japan. If you're the buyer, you'll likely be in for a free evening of entertainment. If you're the seller... well, if you were a local, you'd probably be picking up the tab. However, it's not quite this simple since your hosts may still insist on paying because you are a visitor in their country. Also, it is normal for the inviting party to pay.
3. In all cases, if your host is planning to bear the dinner expenses, make at least a meek attempt to pay. Don't worry... he won't let you. But even your insincere attempt to pick up the tab will have looked good. And, you can offer to pay for his dinner when he visits your home country.
4. Japanese are unlikely to invite you into their homes. It is normal for dinner meetings to be held inrestaurants. Also, it is common to extend an evening's entertainment by going out to a coffee shop (or a second round of drinking) after the meal. If your host has paid for the meal, you might want to consider being even more pushy about paying for the coffee or drinks. But be careful! In some settings (especially where hostesses are involved), drinks can get very expensive.
5. Japanese are liable to ask you questions that make you uncomfortable, such as your age. You don't have to answer, but at least be gracious about it. They are certainly not trying to be offensive; it's just that some questions you would consider rude back home are not necessarily impolite in the country you are visiting.
6. Japanese love to drink alcohol with and after dinner. If you don't drink... well, that's a strike against you. You should try to drink. But if drinking is completely out of the question, make up an excuse and be ready to explain it several different ways and times. Your hosts may push you to drink and you should be careful not to get angry.
7. If alcohol is served, DO NOT drink from the bottle. You should pour the beverage into a cup or glass provided and then drink. Tipping is not customary in Japan and you don't have to do it.
8. When eating with your hosts, try to eat some of everything and look like you are enjoying the food. If there are certain kinds of food you don't like, it would be helpful to alert your hosts to this before they choose the restaurant or the meal. They'll appreciate hearing that you like their food.

About the use of business cards in Japan

If you are visiting Japan on business, double-sided business cards in Japanese and English are a must. Why? They show potential partners that you are serious, and that you understand and respect their culture. This small effort on your part establishes trust, and maximizes your opportunity for excellent results.

Business Card Exchanges Guidelines:

1. Cards are exchanged at the beginning of a meeting; make sure you have enough available for everyone.
2. It is best to stand up when exchanging cards with those of higher rank.
3. Facing your counterpart, bow slightly and hand your card (with the Japanese side pointing up!) either with your right hand or both hands. The same rule applies when receiving a card from someone else.
4. Make time to review your counterpart's card carefully. You might want to speak his/her name and position to be sure of correct pronunciation. If the meaning of his/her job position is in any way unclear, it would not hurt to ask for an explanation. Basically, you want to show interest in and respect to the other party.
5. DO NOT shove the card into your back trouser pocket!!
   • If you are meeting in passing, then you may just carefully place the card in a shirt pocket or in a wallet or notebook.
   • If you are seated at a meeting, place the card gently on the table in front of you. Look at it often during the meeting in order to refer correctly to your counterpart's name and position. If you are meeting more than one person and have received multiple cards, arrange them neatly in front of you.
6. The Japanese hand out their business card at the drop of a hat. Don't be left out! Give your card to anyone that you want to hear from again. You'll likely go through a lot more cards during your trip to Japan than you would back home.

About Japanese names and titles

Name order:

In Japan, like in China and Korea, the first name follows the family name. A person with the first name "Ichiro" and the family name "Suzuki" is, therefore, called "Suzuki Ichiro" rather than "Ichiro Suzuki".

Family names:

Most Japanese family names consist of two kanji (Chinese characters). The meanings of many of the kanji used in family names are related to nature, geographical features or locations, for example, mountain (yama), tree (ki), rice field (ta), island (shima), village (mura), bridge (hashi), between (naka), below (shita) etc. Some of the most common Japanese family names are Sato, Suzuki, Takahashi, Tanaka and Watanabe.

First names:

Japanese first names also commonly consist of two kanji. The meanings of those kanji are often positive characteristics such as intelligence, beauty, love or light, names for flowers, the four seasons and other natural phenomena, or the order of birth (first son, second son, etc.).

Since quite a few kanji have identical pronunciations, first names that are pronounced the same, are not necessarily written with the same kanji. For example, there are about five common versions for the popular female first name Yoko, depending on the kanji for "Yo".

Not seldomly, the gender of a person can be guessed by the ending of his/her first name. First names ending with -ro, -shi, -ya, or -o are typically male first names, while names ending in -ko, -mi, -e and -yo are typically female first names.

The names of foreigners are usually written in katakana.

Titles:

The Japanese commonly address each other by last name. Only close friends and children are usually addressed by first name. In addition, people rarely address each other just by name, but usually attach an appropriate title to the name. There is a large number of such titles depending on the gender and social position of the person you are addressing. Some of the most frequently used titles are:

• san: (for example Sato-san)
  This is the most neutral and famous title, and can be used in most situations. Only in formal situations, san may not be polite enough.
• sama: (for example Sato-sama)
  This is a more polite form of san, commonly used in formal situations and letters, but too polite in a casual context.
• kun: (for example Yusuke-kun)
  This is an informal title used for boys and men that are younger than yourself.
• chan: (for example Megumi-chan)
  This is an informal title used for young children and very close friends or family members.
• sensei: (for example Sato-sensei)
  This is a title used for teachers, doctors and other people with a higher education and from whom you receive a service or instructions.

Seimei Handan:

Seimei handan or name diagnosis is a type of fortune telling concerning names. Its theories center around the number of strokes that are required to write the characters of a name. (Note that there is a defined number of strokes for every Japanese character).

Depending on the total number of strokes, and the sums of strokes for different parts of a name in relation to each other, a name is considered more or less auspicious. Some people consult seimei handan when selecting their child's name or their own artist name.

Things that are thought to cause bad luck

In Japan there are certain things one does not do because they are thought to cause bad luck. A few examples are:

• The number four:
  The number four is considered inauspicious because it is pronounced the same as the word for death (shi). Therefore, one should not make presents that consist of four pieces, etc. In some hotels and hospitals the room number four is skipped.
• Stick chopsticks into the rice:
  Do not stick your chopsicks into your food generally, but especially not into rice, because only atfunerals, chopsticks are stuck into the rice which is put onto the altar.
• Give food from chopstick to chopstick:
  This is only done with the bones of the cremated body at funerals.
• Sleeping towards the North:
  Do not sleep towards the North beacause bodies are laid down like that.
• Funeral Car:
  If a funeral car passes you should hide your thumb.
• Cut nails at night:
  If you cut your nails at night, you will not be with your parents when they die.
• Lie down after eating:
  If you lie down immediately after eating, you will become a cow.
• Whistle in the night:
  If you whistle in the night, a snake will come to you.
• Black cat:
  There are also some imported superstitions such as the believe that black cats crossing the street in front of you cause bad luck.

In many shrines, temples and souvenir shops, amulets are sold that are supposed to bring luck, safety or good fortune. There are amulets for money, health, love, success on exams, safety on the streets, etc. Small pieces of paper (omikuji) that predict your future are also available. These pieces of paper are tied around the branch of a tree after reading; either to make the good fortune come true or to avoid the predicted bad fortune.